when it gets better

So every family is different, no one is perfect, but when is it so messed up, that you need to go? My "family" using air quotes because it is barely that, are on chaos most nights, tonight was pretty much the breaking point, but how can you tell someone that it's not okay, and actually get them to listen. Most advice is too tell them they have a problem, but most people with a person who has a problem knows that it's not that easy, it will never be that easy. So what to do? move out is the most logical explanation right? But what if you under age still under there care legally, or you can't afford to move out, like me. There will always be people who will pull you down and step on you while your down. But that's life, it is hard and it sucks, but eventually it will get better, like my situation. I think people who have problems, think the have no problem, it is everyone else who has the problem, they are all wrecking there lives, when it's then wrecking it. I wonder how many families go through this each day, it's hard and painful, and most likely no where to turn. I find writing it down helps get my angry out, just to write the bitterness that is starting to consume me. I anxiety that was clutching in my gut as my mum smashed windows and belted music up high. My dad has recently passed away, so my mum turned to drinking, but not just a little, three bottles, till she gets so worked up for nothing. I miss my dad,  it was better when he was here, less chaotic. If i could find i job i could probably move out, I've been sending my resume out, but not to the point where i have any interviews. I have cuts all over my hands from grabbing the shards as the cold wind poured in, i don't think she even cares. So i have no epiphany about what to do, or really any solid  information. Just to pray that she realizes how stupid she was. I'm an adult now so i can leave anytime i would if i could. But i'm worried she will spiral more out of control. She seems to resent us, just being alive. So what is family? the person who gave birth to you, or the people who loved you? i think it's the people who love you, the people who care about you. I care but there is so much a person can take before it just becomes silly, to even try. I don't think family is blood, otherwise i am in trouble. I don't really believe i have a family, just some people around me so caught up in there own world to look and see what is really there. Life, is there and it doesn't stop because you are sad, or happy and miserable with everything in this world. I'm still not a person who will give up, it sucks, so does most of the world, but do something that matter, or at least someone you care about. Don't date the boy just because everyone expects you too, or you've been together so long it seems silly to end it now. Don't go for the boring job just because it's easy. Life is too short to waste so live it while you can, even when people are trying to stop you. Try and not let your life be defined by the people around you, even if they are friends, or family.